{SOMEWHERE OVER THE RAINBOW.}

Monday, April 23, 2007

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i just realised, e amount i think, i think i'm like.. a Extreme Melancholic? Actually. Im an extremist. y can't i be more balanced..?

Anyway, 2day i.. mmm.. overheard interesting stuff in e gym locker room. I mean, it was like dese few guys 2gether and they were bragging about their "conquests"... Over the opposite gender? Ayyeee.. Got me thinkin. and thinkin. and thinkin. Are e males these days really that big jerks? Which got me thinking of manhood, how its defined by the world and how its defined by God, and it got me thinking about myself, and where I stand. I'm definately against pre-marital sex (not like those JERKS in the locker room), but.. what about BGR? God suddenly dropped this bomb upon me. HMMMMMMMM. Tough question. Got me thinking lots, about the views of the church, peers around me, friends, and.. my stand is this.

Well.. I have yet to fully comprehend some views such as being financially stable before getting into a relationship etc etc. But I do have my own views why I do not get into one YET. Well..

I'm not ready. I do not know what I want to do with my life as of now, what God wants me to do for Him with my life. I'm still discovering. Heck. I don't even know what I want to work as. Can you imagine if me and my spouse have different life visions? She wants me to make lots of money but I want to give all my finances t God. Big mistake.

Well.. people do ask how do you know if she's not the one? Well.. how do you know if she IS? even if she is, if the time is not ready, I could be spoiling something God has planned. God has planned for us to be together only after I have overcome and grown in this area of me life, but i chiong into the relationship now. She sees my weak flaw, and she is unable to accept it, we break-up, and the relationship might never be the same again. She might decide that it shuld be another guy and change target. Siao liao. Might as well wait a bit. (anyway i'm not that far off le. Can sense it. muahaha)

Choosing between the better and the best. Mmm.. according to God, HOW ON EARTH CAN IT BE THE BEST IF A LEADER SAYS NO?

Lastly, I.. do not want to hurt people. Getting into a bgr with the wrong person (how high is the chance?) means breaking up, and breaking up means hurting someone. and.. if i were 2 get in2 one as of now, i would be hurting more than just that someone. I would be hurting the people who believe in me to make the right decision.I would be hurting my buddies, who have trusted me so so so much. I would be hurting the guy who has never failed to forgive me no matter how many times i've done wrong to him, the guy who loved me so much he died for me, the guy who has never left me nor forsaken me. I.. just can't bring myself to do it. I've done it once. I won't do it again.

Mmm. Yup. BUT that doesn't mean im anti-bgr. heh heh heh. people who know me shuld know me well enough. In fact, I enjoy talking (i'm also a SUPER SANGUINE) and making friends. I don't think theres anything wrong with that. (Just don't.. say wrong thing 2 wrong people. another big mistake.) Dun need 2 make a decision now lah. Keep ur eyes open. (if anybody every reads dis blog and wants to know hu caught my eye, LOL. FORGEDDIT.)

Labels: Bgr

8:49 AM;