{SOMEWHERE OVER THE RAINBOW.}

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

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Mmm. Why? Why isit so hard to let go? Why is it so hard for me to let go of past hurt, achievements, relationships? I mean, past hurt, I don't know how to release it. I need to meet the person face to face to settle this past hurt. How come it seems tt even meeting the person doesn't help? And.. What if... E person doesn't even wanna meet me? How do i let go? Is it possible for me to let go of past hurt jus by myself? I really don't know. Achievements? So what? I mean, Why am I holding on to these? Am I really that insecure? That i care so much about how people look at me that i NEED to hold on to these past achievements so I can be somebody to other people? Why can't I just let it go? Relationships. Why? Why do i keep chasing after relationships that are over? I mean, it is ALREADY OVER. you have NO MORE CHANCE. Why can't I just give up? Why? Can't I ever get a second chance?

K. Emo over. NOW... for e exciting thing. Evangelism. Wow. Evax has really become a part of me. I can't help but to evax, and conversations around me just start becoming directed towards Christ sooner or later. I just WANT people to know about this God, and to have a relationship with Him!! To me, success is not determined by the convert. Success is determined by the fact that I have planted a seed in this person's life, by sharing the gospel to him/her. The new testament has God-knows how many verses about sharing the good news, testifying to the Gospel (Check biblegateway.com, and search for gospel and u can see a hundred appear, of which at least like.. 30? is about sharing e gospel. mayB way more) I mean, im not being an ass here or what, but.. I know I'm in e NS group, but.. My burden goes beyond NS guys. my burden is for everyone. Young, Old, male, female, jew, indian, muslim, catholic, christians, I don't care. I just wanna share to everyone! And.. I do see many constraints which prevent me from sharing the gospel. I do NOT believe that anything can stop me though. The Lord is my light and my salvation, whom shall I fear? For it is for the sake of the gospel that I am in chains. Acts 20:24, so many verses! Nothing can stop me. This saturday, I'm gonna attempt another.. crazy stunt for Jesus. I feel that it is Spirit-led. For how, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? And how can they preach unless they are sent? Amen. I will go where You want me to go, even if it means bringing shame to myself, the risk of harm, I will go.

7:02 AM;